Soch

Soch Badlein, Baat Badlegi.

Equality is good for everyone!

To create a gender equal society, we must first reflect on our own thoughts and actions and see if they are reinforcing gender inequality. We must change the way we talk. But more importantly, we must change what we talk about. We need to start having new conversations and look for opportunities to discuss the problems of sexism, violence, and abuse with other men. If we do that, we will have taken a step towards equality; towards a world where men, women and all other genders are equal. Let us not worry about what others are doing. Let’s just do our part. Let’s create a safe space for ourselves and for others. These are simple acts of love that will set us free. Soch Badlein, Baat Badlegi.

But where does a simple act of love begin?

With us, within us.

1. Let us look through the lens of gender

• To what extent have we grown comfortable with patriarchy?
• What are the privileges that we get as men, that women in our homes are denied?
• Have we cried and tried to hide it because you we are men?
• Are we afraid to express our feelings and emotions?
• Do we find our manhood in our aggression?
• Whom are we insulting with our gaalis – the person who offends us or his mother, sister, wife, or daughter?
• Is household work a woman’s job?
• How often do we do that job?
• How often do we feel the need to protect, control and manage women?
• Do we feel entitled to our family's unconditional support?

2. We need to Watch out! We could be casualties of patriarchy and not know it!

• It could make us insensitive, violent, and aggressive.
• It could shame us into doing and pursuing things that go against our nature.
• It could prevent us from engaging in equal, respectful, and meaningful relationships with girls and women.
• It could force us to fit in.

3. Can discrimination based on gender be good for anybody?

How can anybody achieve their full potential if their freedom and choices are curbed?

4. Is it possible to leave patriarchy behind?

Only if we do our part. We must be the change!

Here’s what we need to remember:

• Never be afraid to share our feelings - affection, love, hurt, disappointment, pain, grief, are genuine and natural human emotions.
• Value and share equally in housework and care work.
• Create spaces to talk about sexism and misogyny with other boys and men.
• Call out abuse, discrimination, and violence whenever we spot it.
• Speak out against sexist jokes and conversations objectifying women.
• Do not make excuses for abusers – it empowers them to repeat their behaviour.
• Believe and support women facing violence and abuse.
• Teach our boys to respect women; set a good example.
• Teach them that being aggressive, macho, and tough is harmful for everyone.
• Treat our children as equals and teach them to practice equality.
• Encourage our children to break away from gender stereotypes and be themselves.