Rekha Das’s Story

Dec 01, 2018

When we were children, my family was constantly on the move. My father was in the army and each new posting meant a new home. I didn’t mind: I loved nature; loved watching the rain; playing with puppies – and each place was a world to discover. Since I was a girl, nobody thought it important that I should attend school regularly. So while a strict eye was kept on my brother’s education, I happily skipped classes. I was good at sports and even had a chance to represent my school, but my parents didn’t think it was right for a girl to be participating in games so I had to stop.

Getting married was the last thing on my mind, but my parents insisted. I was married off to a computer mechanic. The troubles began almost immediately. I was hardly allowed any contact with my parents. My husband was away the whole day, returning from work at midnight. My mother-in-law complained endlessly that my dowry was a pittance and my husband joined in with his demands for expensive items. When after six months of marriage I had not conceived my mother-in-law declared I me infertile and my husband said that he would get a new wife. In desperation I started taping their ceaseless torture and sent the cassette to my parents. My father came to confront my mother-in-law but nothing was resolved.

In the meanwhile I got pregnant but things did not improve. In fact, my husband by now had started gambling and drinking. We had frequent arguments during which he would beat me, even kick me out of the house. We saw a counselor, but nothing really worked. I could not sleep at nights for fear of what he would do to me.

I miscarried after which I was very weak, but nobody in the house was bothered. Then one morning when I was alone at home, I fainted. I lay unconscious for a long time till a neighbor alerted my father and he took me to hospital. Nobody came to inquire about me from my husband’s family and gradually I stopped waiting for them. My father was wonderful through it all and when I decided to file a suit against my husband he supported me through this difficult process.

It was my father who saw the information about SWAYAM in the papers and took me to their office. At the time, I would hardly speak: the feeling of being a failure, of guilt, of fear – made me intensely depressed and lacking in self-confidence. But at Swayam, I found there were women I could talk to – about anything. They didn’t try to tell me what I should do, but asked me instead what I wanted to do. On the legal front, Swayam took up my case that was really not moving at all and my husband began paying the court-ordered maintenance amount to me.

But perhaps most importantly, Swayam gave me the space to heal. I started writing poems for Prayas, started taking part in the Swayam theater group. I moved beyond all the destructive feelings that were storming inside me and became calm, strong and self-reliant.

I got a sewing diploma and began to work in a boutique. After a couple of years I moved to a confectionary where I now work as the store manager and also pitch in when the chef does not turn up!! At the same time, I have a small tailoring business which I run during season time. I have also negotiated a one time lumpsum financial settlement from my husband and divorced him. I live with my parents but now I am free and this is what I treasure the most.